in the family

my sister sent this email two years ago. (she was supposed to be working at the time... not sendng email)
can you tell storytelling runs in the family?

I recall many things from my childhood and some things still resonate with me today. For instance, my Aunt Honey, as she was affectionately called, was a school teacher in Quincy, Florida. She always wore dark A-line dresses with stockings knotted at her thighs. As soon as she arrived home from work, she would unknot those stockings, and free her legs for the evening! She wouldn't take them all the way off, the nylon would just hang out around her ankles until her shoes and other clothing were removed.

I would always know when Honey was approaching. That loud, comforting swish, swish sound preceded her, and on Sundays, the swish was even louder and coming from all directions as all of the women in the house and at church were accompanied by that familiar sound. Although I didn't know it at the time, it was the sound of the nylons rubbing together at the thighs! Not knowing why, or what was making the sound, I knew that it only happened when Honey, or other ladies were all dressed up! For many years, and until recently (today), I associated being dressed up with that swish, swish sound. The louder it was, the more fabulous your outfit must have been, I thought.

Last week, that swish, swish sound was following me around! Not that I hadn't heard it before, but it seemed to be echoing through the halls at my office. After walking 50 or so feet from the break room back to my side of the suite, I made a bee-line for my co-worker's office and before I could ask the dreaded question, she told me that she could hear me coming from the other side of the suite! I told her that I was dressed up and was supposed to make that sound while walking! She then shared the secret to silencing those loud undergarments, and I didn't believe it until 10 minutes ago!

As I slipped into a new pair of stockings (excuse me, pantyhose), I remembered the advice from my co-worker. As I gently pulled each leg to its opposite side, I couldn't wait to see if her theory worked and to hear the sound of silence. Low and behold, as I walked through the corridor, no one heard me coming until I asked the question, "Did you hear me walking down the hall?" As I glanced in my startled co-worker's office, she could only laugh and tell me, I told you so! She was right! Just because I look good in my pulled together outfit, doesn't mean I have to sound like I look good!

So, Ladies, take off those pantyhose and turn them inside out! Unless, of course, you already know this trick -- I would advise to leave them on the "wrong side!"

Swish, swish . . .

Wilma (Cookie)